TEATS!
By Helen Ulrich
Coke Whore

Hi! I'm Helen. You can call me "skank," "whore," "crack whore," "dyke," "anal dwelling titmouse breeder," or even "herpes-infested crack smoking anal skank." I am going to discuss the topic of teats.
Teats are a very important slut device. They add a sort of "saucyness" to any slut. Here is a convienent list of what you can do with your teats:

Shake it
Assault people
Open bottles
Use them as floatation devices
Hold open doors
Lactate
Break glass
Eat sandwitches
Violate people
Self defensive manuvers
A quick snack!
Washing the bathroom
Harvesting voles
Mega teat death grip 2000
Sowing seeds in the vast empire of Teat
Smacking other sluts around
Bopping someone's bologna "Bop Bop" huhuhuh
Making Music
Playing baseball
Titifying badgers

So you can see, Teats are very handy. One time I had part of my teat cut off and turned into sausage. Let me tell you, it was the best god damned sausage I've ever fucking had. Oh god.