Sluts come in many different shapes, sizes, and forms. These physical qualities determine certain aspects of any given slut. For example, a large breasted slut will be more prone to shove her tits in your face to get attention. After exten sive research, Scientists classed sluts into their own phylum, "Sluttus Bootieous", which contains 7 sub-groups. The sub-groups contain thousands of different variations of sluts. The most abundant slut types are:

Sluttus Skankus (Common Street Corner Hoe): This slut is commonly found on street corners. It has several identifiable traits: fake fur coats, skanky short dresses, medium to large teats, and large-spiked hoe-shoes. Common verbal usage include s "Hey baby, wanna go out?", "Yo sexaay, wanna party?", and "Excuse me sir, but would you suckle my teats and fondle my pubic area and then pay me?". Sluttus Skankus is also the most abundant type of slut. Scientific evidence shows that the average corn er dwelling slut is much more likely to get picked up than a non-corner dwelling hoe.
Sluttus Illusivous (Mega Illusive Slut): This slut is less abundant than Skankus. It's natural habitat consists mostly of married families, escort services, and Bob Vila's back yard. These sluts are much more difficult to spot. They are the common "slutty female" and they tend to blend well with the population. In fact, in a recent pole of American husbands, 94% said their wifes were fucking someone on the sly. These wifes fit into this class becasue they are indeed illusive and they do no t charge their "customers.," which makes it much more difficult to tell just who the fuck is a slut#(*@($#
Herpious Infectous Whorus (STD Slut): This is a very common type slut. It is, however, the most feared species of slut on the planet. These sluts tend to blend in with the Common Street Corner Hoes, so watch out! They are known to pray on des perate buisnessmen who "cant get none" at home for one reason or another, and, since these sluts come with STD's, they are discounted. Think of them as the "floor model" sluts. But don't be fooled by their cheap slutter rates, a night with these hoes (o r an hour) could lead to the contraction of diseases such as Herpes, HIV, and the urge to smoke massive crack rocks. (SEE ALSO WHORUS CRACKUS).
Whorus Crackus (Dirty Crack Whore): These sluts are the cheapest and dirtiest form of all sluts. This is mainly due to the fact that they smoke crack. These hoes usually cost 3-5 dollars and smell like anal juice. They are usually found in c rackhouses, where they tend to "hit the pipe" and get into massive hoe arsenal fights. These sluts are more dangerous than the average street hoe because of their violent crack-induced mood swings, as well as their hideous appearance. The only positive thing about these hoes is their ability to give good "head" (slang for sucky sucky), which is due to their lack of teeth. These are truly the most dirty sluts. Their behavior is driven by their desire to get money for crack and it is unusually wild. Th ey will do anything you want them to, such as eat a bag of vole shit or maybe even shave a dog and then fondle its nutsack. Damn what a bunch of slutties#$(*@
Sluttus Farmus (Old Tyme Country Slut): This breed of slut is the oldest type of slut, dating back to 6 B.C. The wonder of Science has allowed us to learn that the ancient hoes were commonly named Moesha, which corresponds with modern street hoes. This leads scientists to conclude that all modern sluts evolved from an ancient Sluttus Farmus.
The Old Tyme Country Slut's habitat is mostly redneck bars, but it also extends to farms, horse stables, dildo factories, dyke bars, and occasionally the shower. These sluts are commonly known to fellate horses, pigs, hamsters, and voles. They also p rovide their slutty services for fat fuzzy farmers and butchers. These sluts are also known as "Bio-Hoes" because they rarely are seen with clothes, automobiles, or even houses. Critics believe this is due to their lack of money, but Science has proven that they just "like it like that, y'all". These sluts are generally harmless and they tend to speak in broken forms of english. For example, if an Old Time Country Slut says "y'all wanna go milk the goat?", they really are saying "Fellow slut , would yo u like to join me while I perform fellatio on the goat?"
Sluttus Loinclothus (Mystical Jungle Tree Dwelling Whore): These are the most amazing and rare sluts. They live in various jungles around the world, but suprisingly, only two have ever been spotted. The first one was spotted in 1839 by Dr. Enrique "Wackey Nuts" McFadden Jr. in the Northern Tit Jungle, which has been demolished and is now known as AnalBreasts, North Dakota. This spotting inspired Tarzan, as well as many types of kinky sex acts performed by various house trained sluts. The second Mystical Jungle Tree Dwelling Whore was spotted in 1968 by Pablo De La Enema. He spotted it in his back yard. Heres a quote: "Excuse me, I no speaker english goodly, but I see'd the thing in my swimming pool drinking my water and I under influenc e of 5 hit of acid, so I thinked it was my mother. I went out and yell 'Damn mom, quit drink water, slut!' It look at me and go "HOOOOEEEEEE" then it run away. I shit my pants from scared. I thought I halloucinate it, but my lover Paul saw too. He fucked up on codiene." As you can clearly see, it is damned illusive. The main trait of this slut is its erotic "calls." They are commonly heard late at night yelling "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH," "uuuuuuNNNNNFFFFFFF," and " FUUUUUUCCKKKK MEEEEEE." Truly a unique slut, t he Tree Dwelling Whore has avoided human contact for several centuries. Scientists belive this breed of sluts originated when the Europeans introduced domesticated sluts to North and South America.
Sluttus Masculinus (Penii-Equipped Slut): These sluts are identical to the Common Street Corner Hoe, except they posess a penis. Usually male, these sluts compete with normal corner hoes for slutting ground. They tend to be much more territo rial than a non-penii slut, and Scientists agree that it is due to their penii. also, their anii tends to swell up during confrontations. Due to a large amount of cross slut breeding, some female corner hoes have developed large penii/irritable anii. I f you ever end up with one of these "freak sluts," watch out! they'll violate you in every way possible!(*$#@(*$(@$#